nightmares

I changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and applied sunscreen to protect myself from our scorching sun!

But I’m grateful for it.

The sunlight usually keeps the presence of the Coronusians weak.

After that, I headed to the café.

As time passed, the presence of the Coronusians gradually weakened until it finally disappeared.

I arrived at the café, but instead of starting work, I began writing—the thing I love.

So I opened my notes and wrote:

“The Nightmares...

They are one of the effects of the Coronusians.

I don’t know why...

Or what caused them...

But suddenly, shortly before I turned thirty, nightmares began invading my sleep!

Things got worse and worse until I could no longer go to work in person.

I ended up working part-time remotely, creating AI content.

You might say they’re just nightmares...

But not when they happen every day.

And not when the problem keeps getting worse.

Between panic attacks, distraction, the presence of the Coronusians, and the nightmares, I became unable to think about anything else.

The images remain fixed in my mind throughout the entire day.

The nightmares, the attacks, and the Coronusians aren’t the only reasons I stopped working...

They even became a reason I stopped living my life normally.

I also developed something similar to social anxiety.

I could no longer go to crowded places.

I settled for small parks and visiting cafés early in the morning.

Just like this morning.

The morning when I’m writing my story.

It’s eight o’clock now...

A quiet morning.

I’m sitting here, drinking my coffee.

But damn...

Someone just walked into the café.

All my attention is drawn toward him because of my condition.

I can’t ignore his presence.

Oh, damn...

Another person just walked in.

There are two of them in the café now!

‘It’s okay. Try to ignore them, sir!’

That’s what Yassin said, trying to ease my tension.

But things remained like this.

There were now two other people in the café, and I was the third.

The barista behind the counter doesn’t count.

I don’t know why, but my mind automatically ignores the employees.

Sometimes I can ignore them.

Other times, they distract me too.

My attention is pulled toward them against my will.

As if the corner of my eye were disobeying me, constantly turning toward them.

My condition is getting worse.

I tried to ignore what was happening.

I tried to ignore my anxiety.

But today, even the barista was making me nervous!

I took my coffee...

And began practicing the exercises my doctor had taught me.

I focused on the warmth of the cup in my hand.

I paid attention to its taste...

And felt its heat.

I finished doing what my doctor had told me to do.

But nothing happened.

I was still being pulled further and further toward nothingness.

I felt frustrated that the technique hadn’t worked like it usually did.

So I kept struggling with myself, fighting against my own mind as I tried to calm the wave of anxiety.

But in the end, I withdrew again.

I left the café.

And things only got worse.

The moment I reached my car, I experienced a mild panic attack.

I could sense the Coronusians nearby.

They felt close.

The episode hit me even though I had been taking my medication as prescribed.

Medication that seemed to do absolutely nothing.

And that’s why I believe what is happening to me is real.

Because the medication simply doesn’t work.

The episodes gradually became more frequent...

Until they became truly frightening.

It felt as though something was violently shaking me from within.

I could do nothing but wait for it to pass.

Eventually, it ended.

And I returned home...

Withdrew.

Defeated.

Today, I had planned to work on a fantasy story for teenagers.

Maybe it could secure my future.

But instead, I was forced back home, unable to do anything, broke, and dependent on my family for money once again.

This helplessness is truly frustrating.

And painful.

And I have no idea when this nightmare will finally end.”