Chapter 22
Chapter 22
9 min read
Before a new day, in my room, had fully broken, my eyes opened to Mrs. Grose, who had come to my bedside with worse news. Flora was so markedly feverish that an illness was perhaps at hand; she had passed a night of extreme unrest, a night agitated above all by fears that had for their subject not in the least her former, but wholly her present, governess. It was not against the possible re-entrance of Miss Jessel on the scene that she protestedâit was conspicuously and passionately against mine. I was promptly on my feet of course, and with an immense deal to ask; the more that my friend had discernibly now girded her loins to meet me once more. This I felt as soon as I had put to her the question of her sense of the childâs sincerity as against my own. âShe persists in denying to you that she saw, or has ever seen, anything?â
My visitorâs trouble, truly, was great. âAh, miss, it isnât a matter on which I can push her! Yet it isnât either, I must say, as if I much needed to. It has made her, every inch of her, quite old.â
âOh, I see her perfectly from here. She resents, for all the world like some high little personage, the imputation on her truthfulness and, as it were, her respectability. âMiss Jessel indeedâ_she!_â Ah, sheâs ârespectable,â the chit! The impression she gave me there yesterday was, I assure you, the very strangest of all; it was quite beyond any of the others. I _did_ put my foot in it! Sheâll never speak to me again.â
Hideous and obscure as it all was, it held Mrs. Grose briefly silent; then she granted my point with a frankness which, I made sure, had more behind it. âI think indeed, miss, she never will. She do have a grand manner about it!â
âAnd that mannerââI summed it upââis practically whatâs the matter with her now!â
Oh, that manner, I could see in my visitorâs face, and not a little else besides! âShe asks me every three minutes if I think youâre coming in.â
âI seeâI see.â I, too, on my side, had so much more than worked it out. âHas she said to you since yesterdayâexcept to repudiate her familiarity with anything so dreadfulâa single other word about Miss Jessel?â
âNot one, miss. And of course you know,â my friend added, âI took it from her, by the lake, that, just then and there at least, there _was_ nobody.â
âRather! and, naturally, you take it from her still.â
âI donât contradict her. What else can I do?â
âNothing in the world! Youâve the cleverest little person to deal with. Theyâve made themâtheir two friends, I meanâstill cleverer even than nature did; for it was wondrous material to play on! Flora has now her grievance, and sheâll work it to the end.â
âYes, miss; but to _what_ end?â
âWhy, that of dealing with me to her uncle. Sheâll make me out to him the lowest creatureâ!â
I winced at the fair show of the scene in Mrs. Groseâs face; she looked for a minute as if she sharply saw them together. âAnd him who thinks so well of you!â
âHe has an odd wayâit comes over me now,â I laughed, ââof proving it! But that doesnât matter. What Flora wants, of course, is to get rid of me.â
My companion bravely concurred. âNever again to so much as look at you.â
âSo that what youâve come to me now for,â I asked, âis to speed me on my way?â Before she had time to reply, however, I had her in check. âIâve a better ideaâthe result of my reflections. My going _would_ seem the right thing, and on Sunday I was terribly near it. Yet that wonât do. Itâs _you_ who must go. You must take Flora.â
My visitor, at this, did speculate. âBut where in the worldâ?â
âAway from here. Away from _them_. Away, even most of all, now, from me. Straight to her uncle.â
âOnly to tell on youâ?â
âNo, not âonlyâ! To leave me, in addition, with my remedy.â
She was still vague. âAnd what _is_ your remedy?â
âYour loyalty, to begin with. And then Milesâs.â
She looked at me hard. âDo you think heâ?â
âWonât, if he has the chance, turn on me? Yes, I venture still to think it. At all events, I want to try. Get off with his sister as soon as possible and leave me with him alone.â I was amazed, myself, at the spirit I had still in reserve, and therefore perhaps a trifle the more disconcerted at the way in which, in spite of this fine example of it, she hesitated. âThereâs one thing, of course,â I went on: âthey mustnât, before she goes, see each other for three seconds.â Then it came over me that, in spite of Floraâs presumable sequestration from the instant of her return from the pool, it might already be too late. âDo you mean,â I anxiously asked, âthat they _have_ met?â
At this she quite flushed. âAh, miss, Iâm not such a fool as that! If Iâve been obliged to leave her three or four times, it has been each time with one of the maids, and at present, though sheâs alone, sheâs locked in safe. And yetâand yet!â There were too many things.
âAnd yet what?â
âWell, are you so sure of the little gentleman?â
âIâm not sure of anything but _you_. But I have, since last evening, a new hope. I think he wants to give me an opening. I do believe thatâpoor little exquisite wretch!âhe wants to speak. Last evening, in the firelight and the silence, he sat with me for two hours as if it were just coming.â
Mrs. Grose looked hard, through the window, at the gray, gathering day. âAnd did it come?â
âNo, though I waited and waited, I confess it didnât, and it was without a breach of the silence or so much as a faint allusion to his sisterâs condition and absence that we at last kissed for good night. All the same,â I continued, âI canât, if her uncle sees her, consent to his seeing her brother without my having given the boyâand most of all because things have got so badâa little more time.â
My friend appeared on this ground more reluctant than I could quite understand. âWhat do you mean by more time?â
âWell, a day or twoâreally to bring it out. Heâll then be on _my_ sideâof which you see the importance. If nothing comes, I shall only fail, and you will, at the worst, have helped me by doing, on your arrival in town, whatever you may have found possible.â So I put it before her, but she continued for a little so inscrutably embarrassed that I came again to her aid. âUnless, indeed,â I wound up, âyou really want _not_ to go.â
I could see it, in her face, at last clear itself; she put out her hand to me as a pledge. âIâll goâIâll go. Iâll go this morning.â
I wanted to be very just. âIf you _should_ wish still to wait, I would engage she shouldnât see me.â
âNo, no: itâs the place itself. She must leave it.â She held me a moment with heavy eyes, then brought out the rest. âYour ideaâs the right one. I myself, missââ
âWell?â
âI canât stay.â
The look she gave me with it made me jump at possibilities. âYou mean that, since yesterday, you _have_ seenâ?â
She shook her head with dignity. âIâve _heard_â!â
âHeard?â
âFrom that childâhorrors! There!â she sighed with tragic relief. âOn my honor, miss, she says thingsâ!â But at this evocation she broke down; she dropped, with a sudden sob, upon my sofa and, as I had seen her do before, gave way to all the grief of it.
It was quite in another manner that I, for my part, let myself go. âOh, thank God!â
She sprang up again at this, drying her eyes with a groan. ââThank Godâ?â
âIt so justifies me!â
âIt does that, miss!â
I couldnât have desired more emphasis, but I just hesitated. âSheâs so horrible?â
I saw my colleague scarce knew how to put it. âReally shocking.â
âAnd about me?â
âAbout you, missâsince you must have it. Itâs beyond everything, for a young lady; and I canât think wherever she must have picked upââ
âThe appalling language she applied to me? I can, then!â I broke in with a laugh that was doubtless significant enough.
It only, in truth, left my friend still more grave. âWell, perhaps I ought to alsoâsince Iâve heard some of it before! Yet I canât bear it,â the poor woman went on while, with the same movement, she glanced, on my dressing table, at the face of my watch. âBut I must go back.â
I kept her, however. âAh, if you canât bear itâ!â
âHow can I stop with her, you mean? Why, just _for_ that: to get her away. Far from this,â she pursued, âfar from _them_ââ
âShe may be different? She may be free?â I seized her almost with joy. âThen, in spite of yesterday, you _believe_ââ
âIn such doings?â Her simple description of them required, in the light of her expression, to be carried no further, and she gave me the whole thing as she had never done. âI believe.â
Yes, it was a joy, and we were still shoulder to shoulder: if I might continue sure of that I should care but little what else happened. My support in the presence of disaster would be the same as it had been in my early need of confidence, and if my friend would answer for my honesty, I would answer for all the rest. On the point of taking leave of her, nonetheless, I was to some extent embarrassed. âThereâs one thing, of courseâit occurs to meâto remember. My letter, giving the alarm, will have reached town before you.â
I now perceived still more how she had been beating about the bush and how weary at last it had made her. âYour letter wonât have got there. Your letter never went.â
âWhat then became of it?â
âGoodness knows! Master Milesââ
âDo you mean _he_ took it?â I gasped.
She hung fire, but she overcame her reluctance. âI mean that I saw yesterday, when I came back with Miss Flora, that it wasnât where you had put it. Later in the evening I had the chance to question Luke, and he declared that he had neither noticed nor touched it.â We could only exchange, on this, one of our deeper mutual soundings, and it was Mrs. Grose who first brought up the plumb with an almost elated âYou see!â
âYes, I see that if Miles took it instead he probably will have read it and destroyed it.â
âAnd donât you see anything else?â
I faced her a moment with a sad smile. âIt strikes me that by this time your eyes are open even wider than mine.â
They proved to be so indeed, but she could still blush, almost, to show it. âI make out now what he must have done at school.â And she gave, in her simple sharpness, an almost droll disillusioned nod. âHe stole!â
I turned it overâI tried to be more judicial. âWellâperhaps.â
She looked as if she found me unexpectedly calm. âHe stole _letters!_â
She couldnât know my reasons for a calmness after all pretty shallow; so I showed them off as I might. âI hope then it was to more purpose than in this case! The note, at any rate, that I put on the table yesterday,â I pursued, âwill have given him so scant an advantageâfor it contained only the bare demand for an interviewâthat he is already much ashamed of having gone so far for so little, and that what he had on his mind last evening was precisely the need of confession.â I seemed to myself, for the instant, to have mastered it, to see it all. âLeave us, leave usââI was already, at the door, hurrying her off. âIâll get it out of him. Heâll meet meâheâll confess. If he confesses, heâs saved. And if heâs savedââ
âThen _you_ are?â The dear woman kissed me on this, and I took her farewell. âIâll save you without him!â she cried as she went.