Chapter 34
Chapter 34
11 min read
THE next three weeks were busy ones at Green Gables, for Anne was getting ready to go to Queenâs, and there was much sewing to be done, and many things to be talked over and arranged. Anneâs outfit was ample and pretty, for Matthew saw to that, and Marilla for once made no objections whatever to anything he purchased or suggested. More--one evening she went up to the east gable with her arms full of a delicate pale green material.
âAnne, hereâs something for a nice light dress for you. I donât suppose you really need it; youâve plenty of pretty waists; but I thought maybe youâd like something real dressy to wear if you were asked out anywhere of an evening in town, to a party or anything like that. I hear that Jane and Ruby and Josie have got âevening dresses,â as they call them, and I donât mean you shall be behind them. I got Mrs. Allan to help me pick it in town last week, and weâll get Emily Gillis to make it for you. Emily has got taste, and her fits arenât to be equaled.â
âOh, Marilla, itâs just lovely,â said Anne. âThank you so much. I donât believe you ought to be so kind to me--itâs making it harder every day for me to go away.â
The green dress was made up with as many tucks and frills and shirrings as Emilyâs taste permitted. Anne put it on one evening for Matthewâs and Marillaâs benefit, and recited âThe Maidenâs Vowâ for them in the kitchen. As Marilla watched the bright, animated face and graceful motions her thoughts went back to the evening Anne had arrived at Green Gables, and memory recalled a vivid picture of the odd, frightened child in her preposterous yellowish-brown wincey dress, the heartbreak looking out of her tearful eyes. Something in the memory brought tears to Marillaâs own eyes.
âI declare, my recitation has made you cry, Marilla,â said Anne gaily stooping over Marillaâs chair to drop a butterfly kiss on that ladyâs cheek. âNow, I call that a positive triumph.â
âNo, I wasnât crying over your piece,â said Marilla, who would have scorned to be betrayed into such weakness by any poetry stuff. âI just couldnât help thinking of the little girl you used to be, Anne. And I was wishing you could have stayed a little girl, even with all your queer ways. Youâve grown up now and youâre going away; and you look so tall and stylish and so--so--different altogether in that dress--as if you didnât belong in Avonlea at all--and I just got lonesome thinking it all over.â
âMarilla!â Anne sat down on Marillaâs gingham lap, took Marillaâs lined face between her hands, and looked gravely and tenderly into Marillaâs eyes. âIâm not a bit changed--not really. Iâm only just pruned down and branched out. The real _me_--back here--is just the same. It wonât make a bit of difference where I go or how much I change outwardly; at heart I shall always be your little Anne, who will love you and Matthew and dear Green Gables more and better every day of her life.â
Anne laid her fresh young cheek against Marillaâs faded one, and reached out a hand to pat Matthewâs shoulder. Marilla would have given much just then to have possessed Anneâs power of putting her feelings into words; but nature and habit had willed it otherwise, and she could only put her arms close about her girl and hold her tenderly to her heart, wishing that she need never let her go.
Matthew, with a suspicious moisture in his eyes, got up and went out-of-doors. Under the stars of the blue summer night he walked agitatedly across the yard to the gate under the poplars.
âWell now, I guess she ainât been much spoiled,â he muttered, proudly. âI guess my putting in my oar occasional never did much harm after all. Sheâs smart and pretty, and loving, too, which is better than all the rest. Sheâs been a blessing to us, and there never was a luckier mistake than what Mrs. Spencer made--if it _was_ luck. I donât believe it was any such thing. It was Providence, because the Almighty saw we needed her, I reckon.â
The day finally came when Anne must go to town. She and Matthew drove in one fine September morning, after a tearful parting with Diana and an untearful practical one--on Marillaâs side at least--with Marilla. But when Anne had gone Diana dried her tears and went to a beach picnic at White Sands with some of her Carmody cousins, where she contrived to enjoy herself tolerably well; while Marilla plunged fiercely into unnecessary work and kept at it all day long with the bitterest kind of heartache--the ache that burns and gnaws and cannot wash itself away in ready tears. But that night, when Marilla went to bed, acutely and miserably conscious that the little gable room at the end of the hall was untenanted by any vivid young life and unstirred by any soft breathing, she buried her face in her pillow, and wept for her girl in a passion of sobs that appalled her when she grew calm enough to reflect how very wicked it must be to take on so about a sinful fellow creature.
Anne and the rest of the Avonlea scholars reached town just in time to hurry off to the Academy. That first day passed pleasantly enough in a whirl of excitement, meeting all the new students, learning to know the professors by sight and being assorted and organized into classes. Anne intended taking up the Second Year work being advised to do so by Miss Stacy; Gilbert Blythe elected to do the same. This meant getting a First Class teacherâs license in one year instead of two, if they were successful; but it also meant much more and harder work. Jane, Ruby, Josie, Charlie, and Moody Spurgeon, not being troubled with the stirrings of ambition, were content to take up the Second Class work. Anne was conscious of a pang of loneliness when she found herself in a room with fifty other students, not one of whom she knew, except the tall, brown-haired boy across the room; and knowing him in the fashion she did, did not help her much, as she reflected pessimistically. Yet she was undeniably glad that they were in the same class; the old rivalry could still be carried on, and Anne would hardly have known what to do if it had been lacking.
âI wouldnât feel comfortable without it,â she thought. âGilbert looks awfully determined. I suppose heâs making up his mind, here and now, to win the medal. What a splendid chin he has! I never noticed it before. I do wish Jane and Ruby had gone in for First Class, too. I suppose I wonât feel so much like a cat in a strange garret when I get acquainted, though. I wonder which of the girls here are going to be my friends. Itâs really an interesting speculation. Of course I promised Diana that no Queenâs girl, no matter how much I liked her, should ever be as dear to me as she is; but Iâve lots of second-best affections to bestow. I like the look of that girl with the brown eyes and the crimson waist. She looks vivid and red-rosy; thereâs that pale, fair one gazing out of the window. She has lovely hair, and looks as if she knew a thing or two about dreams. Iâd like to know them both--know them well--well enough to walk with my arm about their waists, and call them nicknames. But just now I donât know them and they donât know me, and probably donât want to know me particularly. Oh, itâs lonesome!â
It was lonesomer still when Anne found herself alone in her hall bedroom that night at twilight. She was not to board with the other girls, who all had relatives in town to take pity on them. Miss Josephine Barry would have liked to board her, but Beechwood was so far from the Academy that it was out of the question; so Miss Barry hunted up a boarding-house, assuring Matthew and Marilla that it was the very place for Anne.
âThe lady who keeps it is a reduced gentlewoman,â explained Miss Barry. âHer husband was a British officer, and she is very careful what sort of boarders she takes. Anne will not meet with any objectionable persons under her roof. The table is good, and the house is near the Academy, in a quiet neighborhood.â
All this might be quite true, and indeed, proved to be so, but it did not materially help Anne in the first agony of homesickness that seized upon her. She looked dismally about her narrow little room, with its dull-papered, pictureless walls, its small iron bedstead and empty bookcase; and a horrible choke came into her throat as she thought of her own white room at Green Gables, where she would have the pleasant consciousness of a great green still outdoors, of sweet peas growing in the garden, and moonlight falling on the orchard, of the brook below the slope and the spruce boughs tossing in the night wind beyond it, of a vast starry sky, and the light from Dianaâs window shining out through the gap in the trees. Here there was nothing of this; Anne knew that outside of her window was a hard street, with a network of telephone wires shutting out the sky, the tramp of alien feet, and a thousand lights gleaming on stranger faces. She knew that she was going to cry, and fought against it.
âI _wonât_ cry. Itâs silly--and weak--thereâs the third tear splashing down by my nose. There are more coming! I must think of something funny to stop them. But thereâs nothing funny except what is connected with Avonlea, and that only makes things worse--four--five--Iâm going home next Friday, but that seems a hundred years away. Oh, Matthew is nearly home by now--and Marilla is at the gate, looking down the lane for him--six--seven--eight--oh, thereâs no use in counting them! Theyâre coming in a flood presently. I canât cheer up--I donât _want_ to cheer up. Itâs nicer to be miserable!â
The flood of tears would have come, no doubt, had not Josie Pye appeared at that moment. In the joy of seeing a familiar face Anne forgot that there had never been much love lost between her and Josie. As a part of Avonlea life even a Pye was welcome.
âIâm so glad you came up,â Anne said sincerely.
âYouâve been crying,â remarked Josie, with aggravating pity. âI suppose youâre homesick--some people have so little self-control in that respect. Iâve no intention of being homesick, I can tell you. Townâs too jolly after that poky old Avonlea. I wonder how I ever existed there so long. You shouldnât cry, Anne; it isnât becoming, for your nose and eyes get red, and then you seem _all_ red. Iâd a perfectly scrumptious time in the Academy today. Our French professor is simply a duck. His moustache would give you kerwollowps of the heart. Have you anything eatable around, Anne? Iâm literally starving. Ah, I guessed likely Marilla âd load you up with cake. Thatâs why I called round. Otherwise Iâd have gone to the park to hear the band play with Frank Stockley. He boards same place as I do, and heâs a sport. He noticed you in class today, and asked me who the red-headed girl was. I told him you were an orphan that the Cuthberts had adopted, and nobody knew very much about what youâd been before that.â
Anne was wondering if, after all, solitude and tears were not more satisfactory than Josie Pyeâs companionship when Jane and Ruby appeared, each with an inch of Queenâs color ribbon--purple and scarlet--pinned proudly to her coat. As Josie was not âspeakingâ to Jane just then she had to subside into comparative harmlessness.
âWell,â said Jane with a sigh, âI feel as if Iâd lived many moons since the morning. I ought to be home studying my Virgil--that horrid old professor gave us twenty lines to start in on tomorrow. But I simply couldnât settle down to study tonight. Anne, methinks I see the traces of tears. If youâve been crying _do_ own up. It will restore my self-respect, for I was shedding tears freely before Ruby came along. I donât mind being a goose so much if somebody else is goosey, too. Cake? Youâll give me a teeny piece, wonât you? Thank you. It has the real Avonlea flavor.â
Ruby, perceiving the Queenâs calendar lying on the table, wanted to know if Anne meant to try for the gold medal.
Anne blushed and admitted she was thinking of it.
âOh, that reminds me,â said Josie, âQueenâs is to get one of the Avery scholarships after all. The word came today. Frank Stockley told me--his uncle is one of the board of governors, you know. It will be announced in the Academy tomorrow.â
An Avery scholarship! Anne felt her heart beat more quickly, and the horizons of her ambition shifted and broadened as if by magic. Before Josie had told the news Anneâs highest pinnacle of aspiration had been a teacherâs provincial license, First Class, at the end of the year, and perhaps the medal! But now in one moment Anne saw herself winning the Avery scholarship, taking an Arts course at Redmond College, and graduating in a gown and mortar board, before the echo of Josieâs words had died away. For the Avery scholarship was in English, and Anne felt that here her foot was on native heath.
A wealthy manufacturer of New Brunswick had died and left part of his fortune to endow a large number of scholarships to be distributed among the various high schools and academies of the Maritime Provinces, according to their respective standings. There had been much doubt whether one would be allotted to Queenâs, but the matter was settled at last, and at the end of the year the graduate who made the highest mark in English and English Literature would win the scholarship--two hundred and fifty dollars a year for four years at Redmond College. No wonder that Anne went to bed that night with tingling cheeks!
âIâll win that scholarship if hard work can do it,â she resolved. âWouldnât Matthew be proud if I got to be a B.A.? Oh, itâs delightful to have ambitions. Iâm so glad I have such a lot. And there never seems to be any end to them--thatâs the best of it. Just as soon as you attain to one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still. It does make life so interesting.â